Friday, May 30, 2008

Oregon Coast 5/25

So when I hear surfing, I think tanned bodies in board shorts and the occasional shorty wet suit . I knew there were die hard lovers of surf that would don some thick 5/3mm heavy duty wet suits with booties and gloves to hit the waves on the NW coast; read: fucking COLD enough to make your nuts creep up inside ya or your nipples shoot off and take an eye out. But apparently the surf up here is so fantastic that people will drive hours to the coast to catch a great wave.

Memorial weekend I found myself in Portland, and subsequently on the coast, just south of Cannon Beach, to hang out while a friend surfed. Beaches in So Cal are beautiful due to the lovely eye candy and warmth, but other than that, they're polluted and in some spots lined with big ass homes; read: not much nature left(at least in the majority of the southern region). Due to the sadness of pollution and my own frustrations of not being able to get in the water some days cause of the danger level, or walking away with tar on my feet other days; I am a member of Surfrider Foundation. However, the scenery up here is beautiful, and I can deal with the cold by layering up, building a camp fire or drinking.

The waters were crowded and the waves were on the small side; a few of the better riders had a challenging time getting any good riding out.

I enjoyed my peaceful surroundings with some music and my camera. It was nice; it reminded me of being younger back home and ditching school after morning swim practice to go to the beach, watching the local rippers and reading a book, before having to dash back for afternoon practice.

I listened to CKY, which brings back strong memories of my friends in the OC, and being in that environment. They put on a fun show with drunken debauchery, and every once and awhile we'd see one of the douches from Jackass at a show getting hounded for autographs.

(road trip music iPod radio adapter MUCH needed)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Upcoming Concerts...

holy fuck balls deep fried in your Granny's kitchen, there are so many shows coming up!!!

some I'm definitely going to and some are a maybe but these are all the ones I'm interested in seeing:

5/31 Los Campesinos - Neumos
6/7 Crystal Castles - Chop Suey (if I pull off tickets before they sell out lest I have to buy them at an inflated cost from Shane-evil evil boy)
6/13 Grand Hallway - High Dive
6/17 Detroit Cobras - Neumos
6/19 The Fratellis - Neumos
6/24 The Blakes - Neumos
6/27 Reverend Horton Heat - Showbox Sodo (never miss a chance to see him)
7/9 We Are Scientists - Neumos
7/12-7/13 - Sub Pop 20th - Marymoor Park
7/25-7/26- The Cap Hill Block Party
9/24 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Showbox Sodo (already sold out, but I'll be trying to weasel my way onto the guest list)

Holy shit, Neumos has got a lotta bands going on. That's a lot of shows and a lot of money to spend. Thank goodness I have priorities with my booze and music tickets

Arcade Fire-a love story

Arcade fire was my theme music, when I hit that moment in my life where I decided to throw caution to the wind, pack up my house and get the fuck out of Riverside.

I get a lot of people who ask ‘why Seattle?’…My answer ‘why not? Have you seen this place?!’ Growing up my grandparents had a vacation house on the Hood Canal, around the Sea beck area, and we would vacation in Washington during the summers and escape the brown Hell’s inferno of So Cal. I always loved it here and there were a few times we almost moved up here. So needless to say, I always wanted to be here. New Years 06, I had made the resolution that I would move out of state, my choices were London or Seattle (both similar climates). As I started the immigration process, I realized it was going to be too costly and I would have to sell my house, my possessions and quarantine my cats for 6months. In March of 06, my friend Bernie and I decided to take a weekend trip to Seattle for some snowboarding. I can tell you that I felt like I was home. Before the weekend was even done I had made the decision that Seattle was where I was going and post haste.
(Alpental ebow drop) (en route to Baker) (I worked that SUV)

That decision came while I was sitting in Pioneer Saloon, Arcade Fire’s Funeral was playing, I was sitting with my future boyfriend and my future roommate Bernie (she decided to move with me) and it just clicked; and this album became my strength and soundtrack for what would be a HUGE fucking change in my life.

All I can say is, when I get an idea in my head to do something, I go full bore (case in point: Wanted to do make-up, picked a school in Burbank for night classes. Worked full time at my Marketing job in south Corona and commuted to Burbank after work-EVERY-MUTHA-FUCKING-DAY for a month. 2hours there, 1 hour home, in the summer with no AC, over 5800miles on my Mustang; but I did it and now I’m a pro artist as a hobby). So I was saying, wild hair+full bore=me moving 3 months later to Seattle; and ‘Wake Up’ was playing as I pulled the moving van out of my driveway

You should’ve seen me when I finally saw them in September 07 at the Bank of America theater; I was dancing up a storm and lost my voice singing along…they put on one amazing high energy show and the visuals kinda put you on sensory overload. Their music is so full and powerful; building up and mellowing out before coming on strong again and knocking you on your ass.

Two years later and every time I hear the Funeral, I get all sentimental and sometimes a bit misty eyed.

Even though I have moments of missing So Cal...I don’t regret the move

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Circus Contraption-Fremont 5/23/08

Where to begin…where to begin... After taking a quick cat nap that wasn’t so quick, resulting in me rushing to get ready, not being able to find my: mini top hat, satin gloves, garter belt for my Cuban heels, thus switching to thigh-high fishnet stockings but not finding the set-“why the FUCK can I not find my stockings?!”…I managed to don my pencil skirt, best corset, leopard heels and stripy top, all in an effort to fit into the ‘Circus’ scene without dressing like a wretched clown-I HATE clowns. After some excellent Mexican from El Camino and some spirits; we b-lined it to the show, managing to make an asshole late entrance just as they were underway.
(sea lion)

We were greeted to a big top setting, but not the cheesy Ringling Bros of happiness we knew as a child. I’m talking borderline creepy, with a carnival feel and an underlying touch of evil. A big ring in the center for the performers, a smaller/higher ring to one side for the ‘Master’, a medium ring to the other for the live band and various ropes hanging from the ceiling…wicked, I love aerialists.

The approximate 2 hour show starts off with a musical precession and song. Within that time range you’ll see the following: a woman performing on a ‘horse’, a mermaid, a sea lion and it’s trainer, a monkey humping a doll, some women flinging about from the ceiling, a karate bunny, sword swallowing, pink poodles, an amazing song done by bottles/jugs, giant cockroaches and unfortunately a brief appearance by a clown. I honestly don’t want to go to specific into details; frankly my words would do no justice and rob this show of its splendor.
(why yes, my bed of nails IS comfortable)

I will mention this, its like an LSD trip; of which I can only assume since I only sort of did it once in high school, which really doesn’t count because someone told me to put this piece of paper on my tongue and once I found out what it was, I spit it on the wall; but I could’ve felt something, I SWEAR my stuffed animal’s shadows were dancing around my head!…it probably wasn’t real anyway, teenagers are so gullible…at any rate, the show was a feast for the eyes and I’m sure if someone were so inclined to do LSD beforehand, they’d probably be in for a great ride.
(monkey see, monkey do)

They do however sell booze at this show, which I did not partake in; nope, I was a goody-two-shoes-godly-angel-of-sobriety! (Only because I was still hung-over from guy’s night the previous night). There were several drunken fuck wads being a bit, well…fucking stupid, but the performers handle them well and in all honesty, the show feeds off the audience and their rowdy, rude behavior and tom foolery. What fun would a show be if it was a wholesome Walton experience? Vive La Raunchy!!
(multi talented band)

This troupe stays true to form with every detail. From the well tailored 20’s era styled costumes, to a band best described by them as “an off-kilter carousel accompanied by Halloween music gone slightly wrong”, to the actual performances. It was all very campy and vaudeville in style and humor. My cheeks hurt from laughing so much and before you knew it, the show was over and the time flew. It’s well worth the money to see the amazing raw talent of all the performers.
(Pink Poodles)

FYI…I think I might take some aerial lessons from one of the ladies and try to get her bod. I mean, achieve her body, not literally GET her body-perverts

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Amy Whinehouse

I never paid Winehouse much attention due to the fact that she was over played. Not that I didn't think her stuff or her voice for that matter, weren't fabulous...but she was EVERYWHERE and I got sick of hearing her before I ever got to hear her.

While consuming some ESB's with a buddy last night, he decided to grace me with a train wreck of a performance by said lassie. I'm not sure where; some theater in England, sometime this year; I can't find any info on the performance; which is surprising considering she delayed the show a couple of hours with her fuck-uppery

Talk about hot mess...eyes rolling, swaying, not engaging the crowd, drinking between lyrics, spilling booze; and "while I'm at it-bring me another!"; a serious look of a "oh fuck, can I just get this shite over with so I can go pass out"; wondering if she was going to tug too hard at her hair and pull it out...and me zeroing in on a hicky on her neck; make up artist: you fail! The band looked bored, like they were performing a horrible chore; example: picking up horse shit on a farm... Half way through the performance she asked them to speed up tempo; they obliged, I'm guessing not only because the label pays them, but also because they just wanted to get out of there as badly as she did.

Some Brits are hard enough to understand sober, add the fact that she was clearly lit...I was left scratching my head a few times "what the FUCK did she just say?!" All the same, much kudos to the lass for actually being able to remain vertical in 4" heels when she was clearly stumbling. Poor girl...I really wanted to wrap her up in a blanket and force feed her some Big Macs; those poor legs looked like they would snap under the pressure.

I will say this about her...I've seen wasted performers barely make it through shows (Courtney Love comes to mind) but even in her state, she still managed to sing somewhat good...even if she did look like a glassy eyed zombie who occasionally waved to her friends in the upper balcony (which, thanks to her friends, was the only time she actually looked coherent). The show was enough, even with my permanent "WTF" stink face throughout, for me to see she's got some talent and I'll probably FINALLY check out her last album

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Man UTD wins!!!!

Ohhh the joys of Direct TV and a big ol flatscreen at work...
OK, so granted, I'm not a huge footballl fan, but man, Manchester United just sucks you in. The championship game against Chelsea was AMAZING; with a shoot off at the end to determine the game.

After two legendary players fuck their team's chances... Ronaldo missed for UNT...Chelsy's Terry could've won the game...fucked up and slipped in the rain... it was down to one more shot, on ManUTD's goalie, Van der Sar...he blocks it-THEY WIN!
FYI sooo glad Drogba was ejected...such a douche

If he doesn't get laid 13ways from Sunday; boy's got issues
OK, back to work

Random Spewing...

My fucking knee still hurts and it doesn’t help that I’m still swimming on it. Fucking mountain; just further solidifies that I am NOT going up there again this weekend. Instead, thanks to some possible impending sun, I WILL be on the beach, in a bikini, freaking the squares with my white chicken legs and tattoos.

Holiday weekend, plans fell through to fly home for a So Cal beach visitation; no worries, relaxing at home will be fine; it’s too fucking hot down there right now anyway. Not to mention I’ll possibly be flying home next month for my Grand da’s wake.

(love and a chopped 49' Merc)

I am however looking forward to the following this week:
Guy’s Night in Cap Hill (Minus the mounds, I am a guy to them; as I am not a high maintenance drama filled philly, I cuss and drink like a fish)
Circus Contraption in Fremont on 5/23 and dressing up in one of my finer corsets, high heels and pencil skirt, complete with mini velvet top hat.
Maybe a little Noc Noc on Sunday for .25cent Highlife’s and freaks
But mostly sun and beers with friends…

(ok boys...bring on the Linda's, I can take it)

So another random note:
I know I’m a member, but I’m a bit burnt out on KEXP, not that they're not great and wonderful for doing what they do and lord knows I'm grateful NOT to be listening to public radio top 40 bullshit...I'm just listening more to my radio stations…

(Tommy Guerrero just reminds me of laid back, beach, surf, skate and home)

Monday, May 19, 2008

You are the griddle, I am the meat

Seriously Anna, thank you for the Lovage's STILL in my car, 3 days later...on loop with the windows down and blasting.

If anyone can get their hands on "Songs to make love to your old lady to", I highly suggest it. It is aptly titled and an awesome orgasmic force to be reckoned with!

Now if I could just find someone to play it for with a couple of glasses of wine and some candles.
(que Loveage porn music)

Unnnnn, oooooohhhh, ahhhhhh!!!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Alpental 5/17

So this past weekend in Seattle found us with a rarity…Sunshine and warm weather. You’d think I’d be at the beach, trying, to get some sort of color on these translucent legs. Nope. Instead I went to…wait for it…Alpental.

There’s something unnatural about heading out the door in shorts, flops and a tee, while holding your gear en route to the mountain for some slushy snow. It was too damn warm up there, I believe close to 80 and I ended up riding in a t-shirt; I wish it was a tank or a bikini top(which would never work with these love muffins). In all honesty, it reminded me of the early spring in So Cal, except there are actually tanned pretty people down there riding half naked.

This trip however, for the first time, I took chair 2 and rode in the back country; which I wouldn’t have done a year ago. The group I was riding with were well seasoned riders and insisted on popping my cherry with some hiking, jumping and the first gouge in my board from a tree. I didn’t do the jumping, but I did take the pictures (to come later). Still, it was slushy, sunny, and beautiful, the beers were flowing in lot 4 and even with liberal amounts of sun block, I still got burned by the sun and some scrapes from falling in the snow in a tee.

I am seriously done-DONE until next season-AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU DO OPEN AGAIN THIS WEEKEND! So fuck you Alpental, with your half naked fat, hairy and white skiers, underage girls in bikinis, women over 40 in bikinis, nasty bouncy saggers in tank tops, silly outfits, hiking and me twisting my knee. You won't see me again for awhile! (or at least until winter)

(not as big a fall as another I've seen...)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Neumos' Fate

Was discussing the Kills show with my friend this morning when he produced this complaint from the “Concert News and Tickets” site:

“We went to see the Kills at Neumos tonight. They took our tickets at the door, we went in, and there was a line to get into the room where the band was playing. We could only get in if someone else left. Neumos sells more tickets than the capacity of the room, so you can buy a ticket to get into Neumos, but you may not get to see the band if you get there after they fill-up, or you have to leave the room to go to the bathroom. The employees are sympathetic, it sucks, but they only work there, and didn’t create the business plan.If anyone knows if I have any reasonable consumer or legal avenue to get my money back, or help put an end to this scam, please let me know.”

“This is a new procedure at Neumo’s. They had their capacity cut this last week from about 800 to about 250 by the city. It is an attempt by the mayor’s office to put them out of business so the land can be developed. It is actually a very sad situation, as Neumo’s is one of the best music venues in the city. If you really want to help, write letters to the city council and the mayor’s office.”

I must admit that when I ran to the little girl’s room, I was not permitted back in until someone left; which seems like complete and utter bullshit when people have already paid for their tickets. I was annoyed as I waited to regain admittance. A buddy informed me earlier in the week that Neumos had been fined and their capacity level was chopped, thus causing the show to sell out. At first I was happy, having been to several Neumos shows in the past and feeling like I was a tightly packed sardine in a sweaty room with others; not so much with the happy after last night. Granted the freedom to move around and enjoy the band was great, but the over selling and admittance problem was like a flustered virginal groom on his wedding night: FUCKED.

I never paid much attention to the mayor of my city back home, being as the only complaint I had was the snail pace of erecting a sound wall behind my house. I move to Seattle and all the sudden I’m presented with this douche Mayor Nickels. The first thing I am introduced to is a 4 foot rule and no alcohol in strip clubs=how the hell are the ladies gonna earn their much needed coin for their kids, drug habits, boob jobs and deadbeat boyfriends?! Won’t someone think of the strippers?! Then I hear he’s trying to transform the city into the next New York. Allowing building to be resurrected with store fronts; yes, very pretty, but one of the things I love about this city is it’s history and he seems to be on a mission to wipe it out. A sound ordinance? If you don’t like the noise from a bar or club, don’t live there. If he’s truly trying to put Neumos out of business, he should go visit a certain horse in Enumclaw for some special bonding: basically, get fucked and bucked.

As much as I not the biggest fan of Neumos, they still bring in quality acts and shouldn’t be closed down. I am extremely curious how this new in-out process is going to work during the Cap Hill Block Party. I have a feeling lots of people are going to miss bands they’re really aching to see.

The Kills, Neumos 5/15/08

My palm is red, numb and my ass has blood marks...

wait...back up...

it's Wednesday, I run to Neumos...trying to buy tickets for my friend Lizzy and I for the Kills go, sold out. What the holy flying fuck?!! It's the mutha fukkin Kills-for truly?! ugh. I know I was seriously wrong-WRONG-about Devotchka selling out Showbox Sodo, but come on now, the Kills selling out Neumos?!!! fuck, I'm lame.

I figure, fuck it, I'll just go to the Hill and chill with friends and some drinks before the show I was so blatantly denied... then an opportunity presents itself..."Mel, I'm tired, I don't want to go, take my ticket" ..."for reals?!"

with much reluctance, I took that bitch...

I go for some pre party drinks and end up a bit tipsy and flicking shit to the new cute aquaintance. Totally frustrating to a Scorpio like myself...Anywho... I'm at Neumo's for the last part of Das Llamas...I think, 'they might be good' but I can't honestly tell with one or two songs...

(sooner or later...cell phone strike..will kill me)

The Kills however...they are good. Only two peeps on stage, but with back up tracks, they are rocking. I am swaying, moving and doing a sexy shimmy shuffle to the beats...Totally loved their vibe and sound. AND Neumo's only managed to fuck it up a little bit with the sound and feedback situation. For the most part, I was totally stoked by the fact I got to see them and that they rocked it so hard. Thank the gods that be and the fate that actually got me in last minute, cause they were a little bit of sexy sexy time.

OK..forward to the red palm and blood marked ass... While I'm at the show, my friend texts me "Hurry, Creepy guy next to me!" Nuff said, I was off in a flash to protect my wee bonny friend.

I show up promptly at the Viking, and get served a drink...ok, thanks Rob! Things and drinks progress and next thing I know, my friend is commenting on my skills at the ass spankings. Bad news guys...I will show you a world of hurt. One remark "holy shit, you hit like a dude!" yep, step off! Needless to say, it became a competition and our asses were the anti... I left a few blood marks on my buddy's ass, and my literally on FIRE

nuff said...I'm beat...I got to FINALLY meet Mr Drexler, after MUCH shit talking, and my ass hurts.

Later, I need sleep

(OH NO'S LIZZY!) (gotta love the Cha Cha)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dance for me baby

I found the best strip song ever…(LL Cool J’s ‘Going back to Cali’)
(I was laughing from this random IM outburst, but he usually makes me laugh out loud at my desk and OMFG did I just tinkle?!)

So today I was having a discussion with this gentleman about songs at which to strip to or in my suggestion…sex or just dance for your man to. We went back and forth a little bit with suggestions, some good, some bad, some he said didn’t count because anything by Portishead, Massive Attack, Hooverphonic and Sneaker Pimps, could be danced to. Which, I agree; they are some of my all time favs for this very activity...But none the less, I am still putting them on my personal list of sexy songs. I had actually thought about what my mix would be previously due to hearing about a Loveage CD(previous post); that sadly, is no longer in print… So without further a due…

“Mel’s sexy mix that you can get buck ass naked for your man to”

(Impress your man or lady, with this move![*tattoos not included. Please proceed with caution as this may cause injury to yourself or others. Not to mention she's probably more flexy than you and those heels are KILLER, aren't they?! Thank you])
1. Lullaby – The Cure (there’s actually a great remix out there)
2. Since I’ve been Lovin You – Led Zeppelin
3. 2 Wicky - Hooverphonic (yep, I put it down anyway-suck it buddy*points at ass*)
4. URA Fever – The Kills
5. In Your Car – Tricky
6. Glory Box – Portishead (yep, again, suck it. And while you're at it, get the new album-fabulous)
7. She’s So Heavy – The Beatles
8. Sex, Love and Money – Mos Def (this is a good one)
9. #1 Crush – Garbage
10. I Put a Spell on You – Marilyn Manson (his version is hard core rockin for maximum hair flinging and lap dance grinding)
11. Who Needs the Sunshine – The Heavy
12. Angel - Massive Attack
13. Piggy – NIN (cause you can’t have naughty clothes removal without this classic)

Honorable mentions:
1. Brain – N.E.R.D
2. I Can’t Stand It – The Cramps (good for a classic Burlesque shimmy)
3. Ungodly Fruit – Wax Taylor
4. Que Pasa Contigo – Gorillaz (if you’re feeling a little pico de gallo)

I’m sure there are tons of songs I’m forgetting and frankly I have some weird taste when it comes to songs I could take my knickers off too. So because of that I’ve left out tons for fear of rambling and sideways looks; for example: Reverend Horton Heat has a handful of good songs for sexy; lord knows I’ve seen one of my favorite rockabilly strippers dance to “Eat Meat”. I’ve left out Radiohead, which I know has so many good songs, but to me, they’re more of a background ‘mood music’ when you’re about to get busy and all up in your mate’s grill.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Adventures in Ma, part II

so as I stated, 3am as I write this. It's late/early and I may or may not be a little intoxicated. Me Ma is currently passed out in my bed after I introduced her to a few of my favorite bartenders...

and the Viking

she got lit, it was funny. She made so many friends, bought me drinks and tried to distract me with her 'mature' clevage while we played shuffle board(ok that last part, so NOT funny. Nobody wants to see that shit mom, pull you straps back up and stop telling peeps you're wearing my bra; k?) I'm not quite sure how many drinks were consumed, considering we started at 3pm at Nickerson Saloon-in the sun on the patio...dinner with wine and more drinks, then to Twist to visit a friend, who kept feeding us drinks. To the Viking; where the following happened: her being drunk. Her making many 'new' friends. Me flipping her off from across the bar, as I had now become lit. Her mouthing off. Me putting her in a head lock and restraining her free arms. Her biting...BITING my fucking tits in order to break free. Thankfully the bar wasn't too full, as I'm positive we looked like complete assholes.

(and trust me when I say, I'm leaving some of the finer details out)

Later, we roamed Ballard Market, and I got to be her balance support so she wouldn't fall flat on her face in the store. Even more later...she ran into a car walking back to my pad and knocked the mirror outta whack. I put her ass promtly to bed...and I sit here and write.

What does this entry have to do with music? Well, we were rolling around tonight listening to Bloc Party, good shit. I have heard them before on KEXP, but I didn't give them much thought until my radio station on kept playing them for me. I keep discovering great bands and I feel like I've got Seattle, KEXP and new friends to thank for that. Without music, I'd have no soundtrack to my life...and that would be rather dull.

Minus the Bear 5/8/08 and me ma part I

welp, I did it. I finally got to see MTB, and boooooy am I fucking stoked. Wait, back up...

After a long day of boarding and driving...Thursday night of the show found me checking my mother's flight, as she was flying in on the same night that my uber band crush was playing. Her flight was running late, nevermind that it's a 2 hour flight from Ontario, Ca to Seattle and the flight left 10min early, yet the fucking hunk of tin still managed to be 45-fucking-ass-raping-minutes-late...

After driving break neck speeds, scoring a rock star parking spot a block away and making me ma run to the venue; I managed to arrive a few minutes before they took the stage. It's ok, breathe Mel, you're alright. The Showbox was packed and I was informed that it was sold out; too bad it was mostly to under agers, which IS ok, cause I'm a big kid and I can hang out with the other big kids in the bar with, you guessed it, booze!

They had a lot of energy, engaged the crowd and the lead guitarist managed to shower the audience next to the stage with a spray of his sweaty hair. Good Lord could that boy sweat. He was seriously soaked within the 3rd song like a 300+ pound man jazzersizing to Richard Simmons...but he did this sexy jerk off motion with the neck of his guitar, that sent me into some teenage tizzy; not really, I'm just filthy brained.

My mom, being the trooper she was(mostly because I forced her-ok, because I TOTALLY forced her) seemed to enjoy the show.
Me Ma: honey, I can tell they're talented, but I can't hear what the singer is saying
Me: Oh yeah, totally magical mom. They rock
MM: No, no, I didn't saying they were a crock; just that I can't hear the singer
Me: yeah, the sound guy should be shot because I can hear the singer either
MM: Booze?
Me: yes
(20min later)
MM: I think I like this band
Me: fuck yeah, cause they're like, the golden idol we should worship
MM: finish your beer
Me: (chugs-gone)
(Ma shows up later with fresh tall boy)
MM: I smell something familiar...
Me: Oh that's just the testosterone from the boys sweating with no deodorant
MM: smells like weed
Me: oh THAT smell...yeah, it's Seattle Ma, deal
MM: why aren't you drinking more?! I'm hungry
Me: Dicks?

ok, so yes, the singer's vocals weren't loud enough and he was a bit drowned out by the rest of the band, but being I knew the songs, I sang along anyways. The band still sounded great, and worked the crowd into a heated jumping ball of spent youth; I was not disappointed. The youngsters enjoyed the new stuff and the crusties, like me, sang along to the old stuff. Right before the encore, a group of boys in their skivvies and monkey masks, bum rushed the stage with bongos in tow and did some sort of Lord of the Flies rendition along with the band.

(Half naked boys rush the stage and beat their drums)

(cell phone STRIKE!!! out...le sigh, I need a camera)

They may not have played my theme song: "Get me naked 2: Electric boogaloo" but they did play "Absinthe party at the fly honey warehouse" which is probably one of my favs. So in all, I had a blast, I'm happy, and I will make a point to see them again.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Wasted and Complacent and you're about the same...

it's almost 3am, and these last two days have been fucking BRUTAL...

(I actually do clean up)
after enjoying a fabulous internet party Wednesday night with too many cocktails and not enough sleep...I woke up at the ass crack of dawn of 5:30am to drag my ass down to Mt Hood. Actually, more like my friend dragged me, as he is visiting from L.A. and had a hankering to board. Seriously?! It's May bitches...and it's not like I live in a fruity fucking climate that warrents snow year round, I'M IN SEATTLE!!! I looked for ways out, really I did...but fuck all if my whinny little bitching did nothing for me... but in the end relented and I'm glad.

(So high up, we were above the cloud line)

(Mt Hood) (Camera phone...steeeeriiiiike!!!)

I keep thinking I'm done with the snow, and some reason comes along for me to, yet again, get another day in(I'm pretty sure this IS the LAST time for this season). I'm ready to hang out on a deck, drink some beers and blind the surrounding locals with my white legs.

After a hefty 3.5hr drive, we arrived to blue bird skies, soft slushy snow and yes, we rode until our legs couldn't hold us anymore. The mountain was pretty dead, which was nice, but the best part was Magical Mile was open; that shit never seems to be open when I'm there. Granted, that mutha was icy first thing, but it embraced the sun and softened as the hours sailed on. I'm hoping that one of these days, when I'm up on Hood, that that run, will be open when there's actually some fresh pow. I still carved the fuck out of it though...

In preparation for the impending night, I started off with Minus the Bear, which is, of course, my all time favorite band to snowboard to.

Then I switched it up a bit with a little LCD Soundsystem, which I rocked out to on the chairlift and actually boogie woogied too while riding down the slopes(imagine a drunk white dude, hopped up on pop rocks and 80's music).

Towards the end of the day, I was getting pretty fucking whipped, so I decided to go balls out with the rest of my energy and played some Static-X.

Bad idea, that shit made me a little careless, thus resulting in a couple of wipe outs and an idea to haul ass down the mountain...straight.

Really though, I'm done, bring on the summer and let me get outdoors to some hiking, camping and beers.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

DJ Shadow/Cut Chemist 02/08

I’m sitting here thinking about shows I’ve attended since living in Seattle, and I realize I’ve missed a lot, but a few come to mind, this show being one of them.

(MUAHAHAHAH cell phone strikes again!)

If anyone ever gets a chance to see these two perform this show live, I highly recommend it. Oh sure, it’s a ‘DJ’ show, where mysterious smoke clouds arise ever so often with that oh too familiar scent; and the occasional retard will bust out his glow stick; but the realization of just how talented these fuckers are, will fully have you cheering and grooving along with the rest of the stoners.

Had I not been shown the wonderfully campy ‘educational’ video on 45’s and the methods on which they would be performing on this night, I quite possibly wouldn’t have been impressed by spinning records. However, once I realized the complexity of what they were going to be doing, which was performing COMPLETELY live with no pre-recordings or computers; I must admit, I was impressed. I mean-the only thing I’d succeed in doing if I tried, is wreck a few LP’s and make it sound like cats getting run over. No thanks.

I was grooving at this show, but by no means swaying, dancing, be-boppin or doing that whole raver flail about and pound my head to the bass beat. HOWEVER, I also wasn’t on any substance, like I’m sure more than 70% of the crowd was. Nevertheless, the crowd and myself included was captivated by the talent, monitors and cameras mounted all around them; proving they were doing it all on the fly.

They did a two hour set, I lasted ONE whole hour…one. As much as I WAS enjoying the show and I do actually like this music…after awhile, it becomes repetitive and how much can two dudes rockin out mixing and doing a ‘from-afar-jerk-off-motion’ on stage really keep you attentive? A lot? Oh, well ok, my bad…I’m a square. Plus it was a Sunday night, with work the next day, which firmly makes my square bold.

Needles to say, if you are a fan of DJ's and going to see these types of gigs...check it out. They're still on tour and are rolling through Seattle again July 26th at the Showbox.

Future Album Purchase

Good Morning!!

Nothing like a little naughty naugthy to get the day going
"Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By"

a compilation album from 01', with involvement from Mike Patton of the Faith No More fame

This Particular song lyrics brought to you by: Stoker Ace. I'm particularly fond of the part in italics, because being neat is always important, especially when you have OCD. OH, and beware when that pussy is in heat! pesky things...

"monsieur Dan
can i come with you
as you both look awfully kind
sadly he and me are through
let me tell you what i've got in mind
i'll sing to you my mewing charm
looks like you both could use a pet
and purr my purr all night long
i think a pussy's your best bet

stroke that shiny coat
stroking is the antidote
stroke that, it's a start
only for the wild at heart
stroke that shiny coat
stroking is the antidote
stroke that shiny coat
stroking's what it's all about

my tail alone could tell you tales
it's got a life all of its own
watch it move just like a sail
sail you to the twilight zone
i love to lap a spot cream
and i assure you that i'm neat
but you never know what you can expect
when the pussy is in heat


i like to watch, if you don't mind
every sphinx knows how to pass the time
your little love nest suits me well
let me show you how to cast a spell


Monday, May 5, 2008

Devotchka 5/3/08

I spent time this Saturday with Devotchka, a double affair, if you would. Although, it wasn’t suppose to be a two time hit and quit meet up, but they were just…so…Oy Vey…le sigh.

Wait, let me back step a second…when I received my invite to view them before the rest of the general public, I wasn’t sure who they were. Yes, granted I’ve know the name and I’m most certain I’ve heard them played on the radio…however, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it but my roommate said we should go cause I’d probably-wait-most definitely wet my draws over these blokes.

I had the pleasure of the first encounter at the Triple Door, for a private KEXP concert. Very intimate, comfy and the sound was spot on. I can’t quite find the perfect words to describe the sounds and experience I had with this band; the complete and utter fullness at which their sound produces. From the moment they struck their first note, I had chills and they had my full attention until the end.
(crappy cell phone shot)

So let me jump back one day to Friday, where my friend stated he had an extra ticket for the Saturday night gig; to which I responded: “dude, seriously, I’m going to see them already, I don’t think twice is necessary…” which turned into “well, if you can’t find anyone else to take it, I will” I figured, hey better than sitting at home on a Saturday night; how fucking sad is that?! Um yeah, nice to meet cha.

Ok so skip back up to the part where the private show ended and yes, I indeed have a warm pool of piss in my trousers over the performance I just witnessed (don’t worry, I had on Depends) The minute they walked off that stage, I was on my phone sending this message “OMFG, that ticket is mine and I will fucking shank anyone who says otherwise!”(Hey, I’m a perfect poised daisy of serene lady hood and elegance). He gave me the ticket.

Let me say this, the Triple Door performance was probably one of the most clean sounding performances I can currently remember in my life. So granted, I was a little weary of what Showbox Sodo would do considering I’ve heard bands sound like whale raping there. They sold out the venue, which I distinctly remember telling someone earlier in the week “pffft, they won’t sell that place out, they’re not THAT big” If I had his number, I would’ve apologized for being so incredibly FUCKING wrong. I was a twat (I hope he got in…)

I’m trying to find the right words to put their style into perspective…um, polka, rock , heavy Latin influence, cabaret…yeah, it sounds royally fucked the way I describe, so just go seek them out; you can thank me later when you’re dancing tango with a hot bird to “Undone”. The band members are all incredibly talented, playing more than one instrument a piece. The bassist? A chick-playing stand up, no less; OH and she can rock a tuba! Drummer, the trumpet and who knows what else. The accordion player, violin and piano. The singer’s voice is velvety, like sweet sweet satin sheets on your bare arse.

Back to Sodo. The place was packed, and with ALL types: Goths, hippies, NW snow type dudes, well dressed good looking dudes, weird hobbit like men; you name it. To me, this type of music being this popular in the mainstream is a little surprising. Normally bands like this don’t make it this big…just sayin. They came on to a performer doing some sort of cab style dancing, but I couldn’t tell you what, since it was so fucking packed and I was in the back, at the big kid’s bar area. They proved me wrong about the venue though; they sounded fabulous and had far more energy surging at this gig than the one earlier. The crowd was into it; earthy girls in flowy skirts dancing really fast in circles (they didn’t fall, as much to my hope) people doing salsa, people jumping around, some crazy dude in a green jersey looking like a coked up cross between a river dancer and seizure victim, and just overall men who wouldn’t dance a club, dancing with their girls. Everyone had a blast (except my feet, which by that point had been in heels for 12 hours). They had two encores; the first one had a silk aerialist above the audience; wicked. The second encore was just straight up high impact energy where EVERYONE was moving and dancing.


I went to bed that night fulfilled to my core and completely moved by the music.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


Minus the Bear is playing Seattle May 8th...

(the HELL you say?!!)

it's like they heard me cry for their sweet sweet presence. Ok, more like bitch my head off, throw a tempertantrum and just generally curse their names, but hey, they'll be here and this whiny bitch ass already has her tickets.
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