Friday, July 2, 2010

My daily commute

I absolutely love my daily commute. I get on, zone out and best of all, I don't have to sit in traffic. I find that the Bart is so wonderful in its borderline soap opera mass transit world, that someone surely should devote a blog to it. Here are just a few of my favorite missed connections.

1. Would be rapper drunkenly promoting release ep
Your brash in-your-face-attitude marketing approach to the fair riders of the Richmond line of the late night Bart, found me enthralled. More so when my heart raced when you wiped your shoe smegma on the seat next to me. Was this a simple rouse for my heart or are you toying with my emotions?

2. Lover’s quarrel
Granted, I was in my own world of iPod musical pre-coffee morning commute haze, but when I heard the shouts from the other passengers over Radiohead, I must confess confusion. My all too American overexposed love of reality gore implored to missing the guy on girl fisting action-not of the vaginal variety-which lulled the train to a 15minute wait time until you both fled the scene

3. Not too young, yet too bold
Your beautiful chiseled face and model good looks kept me in rapt attention. Your willingness to disclose the fact that you, 24, have already been married and divorced to someone my age, hitched from Brooklyn to New Orleans braving the possible sexual trucker act/rape to your purdy mouth and would love to hitch again only this time with your beloved fixie, addiction/sobriety and free love openness attitude…in a mere 10minutes to myself, a total stranger, kept me from disclosing my real number

4. Poindexter
Don’t take offense to the title, a well dressed nerd is attractive, as was an obviously case in point to me eye fucking you for a good 3 stops which thusly caused you to jump ship in an almost Olympic speed sprint to another train in what I can only assume is fear that I will bite off your head after copulation. For this, I am sorry


jeff said...

Yeah, someone should devote a blog to BART. Or, even, Muni.


Red Headed Devil said...

so yes, I admit the slowness to the realization of your wonder blog sir. This mistake shall not happen again. Vive le BART!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...