Wednesday, April 30, 2008

California to Seattle...the pedestrians that be

“Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying…”

KEXP played Marvin Gaye’s “what’s going on” right at the perfect moment when an older woman was scolding an SUV for being in the crosswalk while waiting for a signal. It got me to thinking about the differences between Cali and Seattle pedestrians and my own experiences with them. I’ve seen and experienced some of the Seattle pedestrians and they can be a self righteous lot. So many residences here bus, ride bikes or walk to work; much different from the car addiction in So Cal. Since living here, I’ve almost nailed a few, which would result in jail time or me stamping the front fender of my wagon with my road kill tally much to the likes of a WII B52 bomber, or jail time.

I’ve seen pedestrians do the following:
Pick fights
Cuss drivers out (a few times to me)
Hit the vehicles (once to me, one week into living here-I almost beat the old fucker but resorted to just yelling back, due to the fact he was taller, out weighed me, a man, and surely would’ve pummeled me)
Throw things

All of these things, by the way, don’t necessarily involve crosswalks where they surely have the way…I’m also talking about the brazen shits that will step off the curb in the middle of traffic and demand your submission like dominatrix to a fat CEO licking her patent 6” heeled boots. In short, you seriously have to be on your game here with your eyes on the road because they literally jump out at’cha.

In comparison, California pedestrians, for the most part, give vehicles the right of way; for fear of a 2 ton car breaking them into bits. The drivers there are much more demanding, in a hurry and aggressive. The only time I experienced a pedestrian hitting my car for being in a crosswalk was in Santa Monica, and that doesn’t really count cause most L.A. folks are douchey fucks anyway. The only other display of pedestrian smuggery is with teenagers; who frankly, are growing up with a generation of parents who don’t spank or discipline or teach the respect of a beat down by their peers or elders. Ugh…the only things I dislike more than children are asshole teenagers; walking around thinking their shit don’t stink.

So anyway, yeah…pedestrians in Seattle…can be a little cray cray

So yes, Marvin…what IS going on…with that?

(Marvin ponders my question)


Anonymous said...

There are those who might, in private circumstances, when they’re sure no others are in earshot, intimate that Seattleites are passive aggressive and endowed with a bullshit sense of entitlement over whatever the fuck it is they are thinking or doing vs. whatever the fuck it is other people are thinking or doing.

This pedestrian vs. vehicle observation might loosely fall into that category, were one inclined to perhaps offer constructive criticism toward the citizens of this delightful city.

And that’s valid. It’s good to have a viewpoint, and it could potentially make for a stimulating conversation among close friends who’ve lived in the NW for at least 10 years or so to engage in privately, so as not to offend others.

However, really, how do we solve the car problem here in Seattle? My idea is to make it as unpleasant as possible to drive through the city, while not providing a light rail or non-smelly homeless bus public transit alternative.

I consider this tough love, bitches.

In fact, mere possession of a gasoline fueled vehicle of any sort should make one susceptible to the same tough penalties as those who possess bottled water and plastic bags within King County limits. In fact, any scofflaws who wish to drink their bottled water whilst driving their gasoline powered vehicle, also in possession of plastic bags from one of the suburban outlet stores should be publicly humiliated, much like the unfortunates in a bizarre Shirley Jackson story. If said offender has a history of tobacco use of any sort within the past twenty years, then fine increases automatically to twenty years in prison.

Car thieves however, are exempt from this policy, as they are the real victims of the greedy consumerist motor vehicle purchasers who provide such temptation.


J. Seattle Lovebone

Red Headed Devil said...

there always seems to be a battle between who's the better...the pedestrian, who for the most part, gets the right of way. or the driver, who for the most, deems that THEY get the right of way cause they're bigger, faster and surrounded by metal.

either way, apart from some of the terrible passive drivers's still a better driving situation that the shit I dealt with in So Cal. Alas, I'm sure over time and over population will change that. At which point, I will have to find some other beautiful mecca to hide in

Anonymous said...

True. It's the same all over the world, though.

In Italy, drivers never yield to pedestrians.

In Germany, the pedestrian always has the right of way, crosswalk or not.

Know what's funny? Watching the German tourists in Italy try to cross the street.

Best regards,

J. Seattle Lovebone

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