Saturday, February 13, 2010

Love and EZ cheese

The adventure begins with road munchies, of which I was not permitted my standard beef jerky, for fear of a raise in methane levels in our hotel room; some heinous hours of traffic; downpours; and vampire grilles yo'

Car games which consisted of putting the word "anal" in front of vehicle types and turning road signs into sexual context.
Top Five car names:
Anal Ram
Anal Escape
Anal Avenger
Anal Probe
Anal Outback

Top Two sexual name slang:
Yelm: when the jizz that gets shot onto the girls stomach collects into the belly button and crusts over
Steilcoom: when you've finished the blow job and sneeze with his wad in your mouth, thus causing it to shoot out your nose.

A very quick run down of events:
Marathon. Mary's(every morning should begin with licking your own heel...from behind your flexy bitch with a great ass). A very dead Tube. Magic Gardens(where one stripper may or may not have wanted Amber or myself to raise her unborn baby. I'm voting for me, she winked, yep, she wants me). The Fez 80's dancing and an Anna body slam to a poor unsuspecting victim. Late late night-er morning munchie attack to the Garlic Triscuts and remaining EZ Cheese...followed up by "holy shit, this room reeks of alcohol". Douglas Fir. Powell Books(drool). Thrift shopping. Gluttony at Life of Riley. And a mad dash drive home with bleary eyes, Murder City Devils and a woman(Amber) speaking Texan in the backseat. Yep, that's about it.

There was a lot of booze involved in all of the above. Ace Hotel is tits with a photo booth in the lobby and an adjoining Stumptown Rosters. Portland is rad and I had forgotten just how much it tickles my fancy.

some key verbal highlights offered by Amber and Anna:
"my vagina is loaded 99% of the time. and I'm sure it has a drinking problem." (amber)
"my vagina is a preserved wild life reserve" (anna)
"don't worry about the dead baby in the wheel well, he's been dead for awhile and can't feel much anymore" (amber)


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