Reaching for the Gold

(US men win 4x100m, by a fingertip)

I’m groggy. I stayed up past my old lady bed time of 10pm to watch the Olympics; more exact, to watch the men’s 4x100m relay. Holy FUCK, talk about an exciting race, probably one of the best relays/race I’ve seen. Most of the excitement stemmed from the French talking smack about "smashing" the US; which isn’t my beef, some are just better; but when you throw in the shit talk, you deserve huge disappointment. Show some fucking class, much like my oh so ladylike self. BURP. So we had the lead, until the 3rd leg of our team lost it a bit, to the point where the 4th leg, 33 yr old Jason Lezak, had a body length to gain on first place. Going into the turn, I thought we were getting the silver, thus ending Phelps race for 8 golds, but the final 50meters Lezak somehow found the strength to pull on the Frenchy poop head; which trust, when you’re sprinting, it’s hard to pull out anymore. He took one massive dive to the finish and out touched by .08 of a second. The French’s response: “they didn’t win, they just out touched”. However you want to call it, the Americans got the gold and Bernard was left at the wall staring in disbelief before putting his head down.

In my opinion, the chance to even go to the games is heart fulfilling enough; silver, gold or bronze, you’re the best of the best. If there is one thing I regret in life, it is not realizing my dreams of giving it a shot for the Olympics. From the time I was 6 and my parents dragged us out on a warm summer night to some street to watch the torch be passed en route to the LA Coliseum; me with my M&M’s and boredom, not knowing what it all meant; listening to people cheer and peering through legs to get a view of a jogging man carrying a lit torch…that’s all it took, that was my first remembered Olympics. The rest is history. I dreamed from then on to try and attend. I was too big for gymnastics and too slow for track and once I witnessed Janet Evans in 88’, it was swimming all the way for me.

Maybe it’s my days of winning our league championships that bring Queen’s “We are the champions/We will rock you” into my head when I watch epic swimming events like this…at any rate, it’s a good song for the rivalry that France created against the US. Perhaps it’ll go along with Phelps if he wins all 8 gold medals. Even if he doesn’t, which is my belief because that’s just too much fucking pressure on the poor kid and let’s not forget the other great swimmers out there; but if he does, he’ll have earned every pretty snatch that will now be thrown his direction because of it. Keep on playa, you are the Champion


(Good Golly Phelps advertising the bod to the masses)