How...

Let it die and get out of my mind
We don't see eye to eye
Or hear ear to ear

Don't you wish that we could forget that kiss
And see this for what it is
That we're not in love

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start

It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade away

And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start

out and about

just two shots in passing...



I have a weakness for old buildings and this city has it in spades-I could waste rolls of film on the houses here. Gives my architectural loving soul a big ol boner

Walk on weary traveler

For your feet are tired and worn

Being here nor there, O the sights been seen

Lost is the soul with no direction

No where to rest thy bones

Longing are the days for a place to truly call your home

To hang your hat

To lay your head

To unpack and stay

And to have a door in which to shut out the world

For roots to grab hold, for love to grow

Your hearts own cocoon

(early morning start and no so breakfast of champions)

Steps finally happened and I finally moved to the Bay; it all transpired within a few weeks time. To my father’s description of yours truly “she’s impetuous”…that wasn’t a compliment. However, in his defense, I am. Life’s too short and I find that if I think things out too much, I tend not to follow through…mostly because I am a tried and true over-analyzing fucktard.

So as the move went: up at 3:30am, on the road by 5am; shitty McDonalds breakfast; shitty coffee; shitty central California drive; beautiful sunrise; beautiful Bay. Being that mostly all of my belongings are still in Seattle, this was an easy move and unpacking venture; literally an hour.

I’ve been here 3 weeks now, managed a job in a very no brainer environment in the Mission district of SF. I’m unpacked. I have an honest to goodness bed, all my own to stretch my lovely limbs upon, for the first time in 8months. I’ve already had my lovely Frenchie road bike boyfriend Frankenstein stolen from me (a sign I’m truly a resident) and I’ve been exploring my surroundings and making new acquaintances. I have to say that after the initial loneliness of the first couple of weeks subsided; I’m feeling pretty good knowing that I’m sticking around some place for a good amount of time.

Being a nomad had its perks but it was also very daunting. I wouldn’t trade it though, it was an amazing experience to be able to get up and go. And who knows where life will take me in the future but I can firmly say that it’s not so difficult to pick up and go on an adventure…

For now, I’m fully enjoying this bed and being in one place for a while

Gloom

Just a couple shots from my recent road trip to the bay. Central California truly is a boring drive

Le sigh

Life's ups and downs; I've had many

You'd think I would have gained the wisdom to spot the bullshit that blocks me from happiness sooner. Alas...not so.

So, do I turn my back and walk?or continue with the struggle head on?

School owns me

Still nine weeks left and I'm already, metaphorically speaking, balls deep into my final project for my Marketing class: a business model/proposal for a retail store. My shit's so bomb I'm considering it when I'm done with school. My dude would be the sharpest dressed man alive; making the panties drop


(just some notes..."clean car" is a highly important aspect of after school specials)

Sad day...

It’s a pity to me that kind words are only truly shared on a tragic occasion like a funeral. We should practice more the art of making our friends and loved ones feel loved; letting them know the special places they hold in our hearts and minds.

A dear friend of mine lost her husband far too early in life, at the age of 36; their children, lost their father. She has physically been there for me in the past through dark times and when physicality was not available, she provided her ear. She loves nothing more than to torture me by forcing human emotional interactions with hugs and to watch me squirm by telling me ‘I love you’; knowing full well that I am not good with exposing feelings. Today at her husband’s funeral, I freely offered up those words in return. I hope she knows that she’s got me in her corner for anything she needs.

One of my favorite poems came to mind during the service today, as it was spoken about how long her and her husband were involved in each other’s lives…since 7th grade.

Annabelle Lee
Edgar Allen Poe

"It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulcher
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me
Yes! that was the reason
(as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we
Of many far wiser than we
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
In the sepulcher there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea. "